“Do you accept Bitcoin?”

Fuck no!  Doesn’t your broker slap you when you talk like that?

Bitcoin is a volatile fad that doesn’t actually actually provide any anonymity.  Researchers have developed methods capable of unmasking a majority of transactions, and you can bet that the IRS is working on improving that success rate.  Anyone accepting Bitcoin is doing it for cheap publicity and basically can’t be trusted with a bucket of water.

We understand why you would want to keep your visit to Burning Man ‘off the books’, and we are more than willing to accommodate you.  Our preferred method is direct bank to bank transfers, using Cayman Island banks only.  The Swiss can no longer be trusted.  For our more discerning guests, we accept payments in Gold, Platinum, and Palladium; based on spot price + 10% at time of reservation, to be delivered via secure courier within four hours or your reservation will be released.