“What inspired you to build Château Tananburn?”

As with many great men, I was inspired by a great woman.

At one of my first visits to Burning Man, I heard a story.  I don’t know if it was true or not, but it brought such sadness to my heart that I had to act.  The story goes that Angelina Jolie once came to Burning Man.  Her plane landed at the airport, and sat there for a while, but nobody came out.  The door never even cracked an inch to let the vibrant playa air inside.  It could only be guessed that she gazed upon the dusty tent city and was not pleased.  After a time, her plane flew off, without the playa ever being graced by her beauty.

This inspired me to build a grand camp, a compound even, that could be easily seen from the sky above the city.  It would be a beacon to which the rich and beautiful would be drawn.  They would know there would be hot showers, and real gold trimmed porcelain toilets.  It would be known far and wide as the Trump Tower of the Black Rock Desert.

With such a camp, I can hope that if Angelina Jolie ever comes to Burning Man again she will know there is a safe haven for her where she can enjoy the splendor with all the amenities of home.  After building all this, I might finally see her naked.