Spirit Guides are general purpose assistants with the skills, knowledge, and experience necessary to help our guests fully realize their Burner Potential. A Spirit Guide should know the best way to tie a Gordian knot, what time of day provides the best lighting for staged selfies, the quickest route back to camp from any spot on the playa, how to quickly deal with ‘rusty pipes’ (both kinds), be able to make a perfect cappuccino, etc.
In order to fully transcend, our guests must be freed from all of the mundane details of physical existence. You will be assigned to assist one or more guests in their transformative journey. Therefore, your duties will include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Monitor the health and well being of your Patron Guest(s), and fetch food and drink as needed.
- Deflect any camera carrying burners who have not been invited to take pictures of your Patron Guest(s).
- Anticipate the needs of your Patron Guest(s), and supply them before they realize they even have a desire. You will have a radio to communicate with Camp Concierge as necessary.
- Pick up, and dispose of, any MOOP your Patron Guest(s) might create in their journey.
If this is a super fancy camp for the ultra rich, why does your webpage look like shit?
The life of the super rich is not all galas and balls. Those are just a distraction so you don’t know how hard we really are working. We spend upwards of five hours a week coordinating the activities of the Illuminati, overthrowing the elected governments of the world, and making sure Michael Bay has more mind rot to churn out to eep the masses sated. None of us has time to learn this website stuff. We do what we always do, we contracted it out. If you think you can do better, by all means send me your portfolio. This, too, can be yours. We pay $10/hr for quality work.